When I clean my room then show my mom the work of...
adrians: if I was in the hunger games I’d just get mcdonalds as a sponsor but instead of just eating the big macs they’d send me during the games I’d use them as bait to trap people and every time I’d made a kill I’d look up to the sky, give a thumbs and whisper “I’m lovin’ it”
iconise: ok so once in class i was blogging and there was a girl infront of me who was scrolling down her dash and i realised she followed me coz all of my posts were on her dash anyway i made a textpost that was like turn around if you are in room N301 and she turned around and i just looked at her and her expression was the funniest thing i have ever seen in my life
How rape trials should go?
Lawyer: Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but-
Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.
taeomi: if i post things that you don’t like and you still follow me i hope you find $20 on the ground today
its-a me twerkio
percyspanda: sithlordtennant: schyther: superwhowhedonfighter: you know how a period is supposed to last 3-7 days who is that asshole that only has to suffer 3 days How freaking long are your classes? The longest period I had was 50 minutes. There was so much innocence in that comment
ollymurs: i dont wanna go to college i wanna go to concerts
sluttyoliveoil: sluttyoliveoil: what does the teen boy say after murdering a man haha no homo(cide)
nintendofunclub: c0caino: Take your age and add 5 to it. That is your age in 5 years.
foxnewsofficial: scuba-steve-damn-you: foxnewsofficial: SEND EVERYONE YOU KNOW A MORNING TEXT. WEAR A BOWTIE TODAY. HIGH FIVE STRANGERS. GIVE AWAY LOLLIPOPS. COMPLIMENT PEOPLE. STEAL A CHILD. i’ve already done one of those and now he won’t stop crying and it’s annoying must have been an aggressive high five
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”